Who am I: My name is McKenzie Rodarte, I am a full time student, full time mom of two toddlers. I am going to school to study social work and would like to obtain my Master's of Social Work from the University of Utah. I am from Utah, I grew up in Utah County, it took me years to appreciate the beauty that Utah has to offer, but I absolutely love living here. My husband I and I recently bought a home in North Salt Lake. I love spending time doing interior design and home projects. I love to run, read, and do anything that is creative.
I actually enjoy being a student, that may sound weird, but I like the challenge. I recently interned at the Utah State Capitol for Community Solutions Consulting, they are lobbyists for a variety of clients. I found myself very drawn to social welfare policy, I think that changes need to be made on a legislative level for social problems like drug addiction, poverty, and homelessness. I loved working during the legislative session and I look forward to doing so in the future.
I am a recovering addict, I have been in recovery for 5 years. This is a video that I helped a local band create by sharing my story. I'm sharing it because I have a passion for helping others, I have experienced a great deal of pain and loss in my life and I think that the purpose of a lot of my experience is so that I am able to help others. I think there is power in the ability to relate to those struggling and letting them know that there is hope. I think my experience will benefit me and others in the career path that I am taking.
I am taking positive psychology because I am a true believer in the power of our thoughts. I want to be able to approach future clients with an understanding of how to deliver that message to them. I want to be able to use positive psychology in my own thoughts and actions. I think everyone could benefit from taking this course. There is always room to grow.
Semester Project
5 New Methods to Increase Happiness Meditation 1. The first method I knew that I had to use was meditation. The first time I tried it was February 15th. I had been watching my friend’s two little girls all day, plus my own. I had so much homework due and I remember feeling beyond overwhelmed. I had my husband take our kids to the store when you got home from work, I turned off all electronics, and I sat still and listened to my breathing for five min. I kept telling myself when thoughts come in don’t judge them. I didn’t do it perfectly and I got a little anxious during that five-minute period. 2. I tried meditation again on February 21st. My 20-month old daughter had to go under anesthesia that morning and I was a nervous wreck. At five am I said a prayer and then quietly sat in mediation before anyone in my home was awake. This was the first time that I felt like meditation worked for me. All the negative thoughts that I was having came into my mind and then I breathed in and out and allowed myself to let them go. I definitely felt better. 3. I meditated during little periods throughout my days for the next couple weeks. Even if it was two min, I would remind myself to just sit and breathe before I started homework, when my kids were napping. It became a conscious thought when I felt overwhelmed. I like that it became a solution.
Taking Time For Myself 1. It became apparent to me after taking the tests in Week 3, that I don’t do enough self-care. My life is full of taking care of my kids, homework, and then taking care of my husband and kids in the evening (cooking dinner, soccer games, etc.) It was important to me to take time for myself. The first thing I did was had brunch with two of my dearest friends WITHOUT my kids. February 19th. It was so nice to take a couple of uninterrupted hours for myself and I felt happier and eager to spend the rest of the day with my family afterward. 2. February 24th I got a sitter for the kids and my husband and I went on a much needed date. The only problem was that his phone kept ringing with issues from work. It was great to get away for the night with him, but not ideal that he was unable to turn off his phone. I still felt like it was a good break for us. 3. For me taking time for myself basically means doing anything without two toddlers, but there was one thing I have wanted to do for a long time, so I made an appointment with a dermatologist on 3/31 and had a procedure done. It was so rewarding to self-care.
Learning something outside of School
1. I have always loved to read so each night I set a goal to read before I went to bed. I picked three non-fiction history books and finished them over this semester. Killing the Rising Sun February 1st. 2. All the Galant Men March 3rd 3. Hillbilly Clergy- which was not a history book but it did give me a better understanding of the working class in Ohio, and area that I felt I needed to understand more clearly after the presidential election. March 25th (All three of these books were awesome, and I’m so glad that I have read them they gave me a different perspective on WWII, and the unrest I have felt since the election)
Volunteer Work 1. I began volunteering a non-profit organization, co-facilitating a group for people in Recovery. Feb 2nd. This particular group helps those in recovery by bringing in men and women with a year or more of recovery to help them learn how they have maintained sobriety. It not only helps the group but it has helped me remember what it was like for me in treatment and the path I have taken since. 2. I have volunteered my time to my neighbor who has a daughter with sensory processing disorder/autism, she has appointments each week and I offered to watch my neighbor’s son to lighten her load during these appointments. I know what it is like to have two toddlers and how difficult it can be to take both to appointments. No matter how stressed I am I feel better after helping her. 3. I picked up another sponsee in February. We began meeting on March 2nd. I have told myself I am too busy and I wouldn’t be of service to another woman until this semester is over. BUT, I realized that it’s important for me to give back what I have and its gives me tremendous peace each time I meet with her.
Exercise 1. On February 13th my husband and I started doing P90x the workout. We used to be so disciplined about our workouts even with our first child but when I got pregnant with our daughter we completely lost our discipline. It felt so good to find a solution to our time management issue with working out, and being able to do it in our home. 2. We continued working out rigorously and scheduled for the next two weeks, I was able to take time and do yoga on the morning of February 22nd. I LOVED it. 3. My husband and I hiked in Chandler, Arizona on 18th. We went with our family in AZ and it was so fun to get outside and be active together. I felt like it made us closer.
The Oxford Scale of Happiness Questionnaire After completing my 5 new methods to increase happiness I took the questionnaire again. My score had increased from a 4.79 to a 5. I went from rather happy/pretty happy to happy.
Reflective Writing I have never been a person who can sit still for very long. I am constantly thinking about what task I need to complete next, I obsess over non-priority items in my life as much as I stress about priorities. I am fine being alone, I’ve always enjoyed time to myself, but what I hadn’t really experienced was myself alone with my thoughts. Normally, if I ever get time alone, I am checking my email, social media, texting a friend or turning on the tv. I might clean my house or go shopping but I never ever just sit alone without any distractions. When I saw, that meditation was an option on our of the list of increasing happiness, I knew without a doubt that I had to try it. What I learned from watching multiple Ted Talks was what I thought I knew about meditation was all wrong. I thought that couldn’t ever meditate because I couldn’t clear my mind. I had done guided meditations before but that was different, someone is literally telling you what to imagine and think about during the process. What I have learned throughout this course and studying up on meditation a little more, is that it isn’t about immediately starting with a clear mind, it is about allowing all of those thoughts to come into your head, allow them to enter without judgement and continue to breath and exhaling those thoughts when they are ready. That has been my interpretation and what has worked best for me. The first time I tried mediating, I was uncomfortable, and had as much anxiety as when I started. I kept thinking about what I needed to get done, I judged everything that came into my brain and almost decided to give up forever after I was done. I didn’t think it would work for me, but this thought kept coming into my head each day after to try again when I felt super overwhelmed (which happens a lot) and I decided to start of slow. If I could sit with myself for two minutes, just focusing on my breathing, I began to relax. I stopped judging myself and my crazy thoughts and just focused on my stomach moving in and out as I took deep breaths. I instantly started feeling calmer. I could focus on what I needed to do next when I was done. I haven’t practiced it every day, but the days that I have I have recognized the calm that it brings to my irrational thoughts. I find myself doing self-reminders when I am having tough days to just take a few minutes and breathe. For a person like me that is high anxiety I have found that mediation has been helpful in increasing my level of happiness. The next strategy I tried was taking time for myself. As a mom of a 3-year-old and 1-year-old, I do not get a lot of time to do self-care. The only time I get by myself is when my kids are napping, and I am scheduled like clockwork to do homework while kids are asleep. I took a psychology class last year that really elevated my level of consciousness about my personal need for self-care. I knew when I saw it on the list of strategies that it would be one that I would try. I also know as someone who is working toward a social work degree, that self-care is paramount to my ability to help others. Any time I spend time with my friends, we each have our kids with us, which is super fun but certainly isn’t time for myself. I made conscious decisions to go to brunch alone with girlfriends, or asking my husband to watch the kids so I could do some things for myself. I have been a stay at home mom/student for almost four years now, and it has felt so good as my kids are getting old to find a little bit more independence and being able to leave them for longer periods of time. I am finding the balance between feeling selfish about needing alone time and understanding that it is necessary to take it in order to be more present and happy to meet the needs of my family. I think that this strategy has had the biggest impact on my personal well-being this semester. The third strategy that I felt would be beneficial to me was learning something outside of school that interests me. There have been a couple of things I have tried one of which was reading non-fiction books each night before I go to bed. In part, I felt like it played into taking time for myself as well. I have always loved reading, reading is my happy place. I have discovered passion that I have for history that I didn’t even know existed. I always liked history classes but I was captivated reading about JFK and WWII. I like having a better understanding of our nation, and experiences that my grandparents had. I also decided to reach out to a drug and alcohol treatment provider and discussed becoming a grant writer. When I interned at the Utah State Capitol with a lobbyist firm I became very interested in social welfare policy, the entire process is so intriguing to me and I have wanted to learn more about it. Last week I met with this treatment provider and was offered a job as a grant writer/development director. I stepped out of my comfort zone and I can’t believe I was offered the job. I’m learning so much about myself through this process. Exercise and volunteer work have been things I have practiced in the past, but during the course of trying these new strategies I focused on them as being about my personal well-being. I had really fallen out of the routine of working out, even though I knew it would make me feel better. I used a lot of excuses to prevent it from happening. I decided to find a solution to those excuses and started working out at home. It was part exercise and part setting a goal and following through. It feels great to be back at it, but even better to stop making excuses! I have volunteered every Thursday night facilitating a meeting a recovery facility. I get to listen to folks in long-term recovery share their stories to residents inside a treatment center. It’s immensely rewarding to watch the light appear in the resident’s eyes, to see them have hope for the first time in a long time. Its inspiring for me to listen to other people share their story of recovery as well. I feel united with them, I understand them, and it gives me a chance to connect with people on a spiritual level. I’m grateful that I have the opportunity to do it. I think the most important thing that I have learned is that trying new strategies to enhance your well-being, takes action and commitment and some efforts are more rewarding than others. I found a lot of strength and happiness in self-care and meditation. Some of my efforts like taking a trip to Arizona with the family and forcing myself to relax, were a little more stressful than I anticipated but it was still a step in the right direction. My goal was to become more present, to spend more quality time with the people that I love, and to stop worrying so much. I think there have been a few hiccups along the way, I have struggled a little bit academically this semester, but I have focused on multiple areas of my life this semester and not just school. I feel like I am growing as an individual and I’m okay with a little bit of imbalance along the way, it’s all part of the process. I know that I will continue to practice mediation, yoga, and self-care to increase my level of happiness. I think that it has raised my confidence and my ability to take on new endeavors in my life. I loved that this class talked about altruism. I have been doing altruistic deeds consistently for the past five years. That above all else that I have written about gives me the greatest amount of happiness. What I was lacking that I realized over the last few months was my personal need to take care of me too. I have come to an understanding that it will take practice to find balance I all aspects of my life but being able to focus on personal well-being has been refreshing. After taking the Oxford Happiness Questionnaire at the beginning of the semester I felt that my score was accurate. I was honest in the way I answered the questions and I was rather happy at the time. When taking the quiz again last week I saw that my score had increased by 0.21 points. I smiled as I saw this not because it had increased, but because it was just the perfect increment of improvement in happiness. I think that’s the kind of realistic results you can find in working on yourself over a three or four-month period. I don’t have unrealistic expectations that these exercises are going to dramatically change my life, but I found encouragement in the subtle change. There are changes that I recognize, and there was a little discomfort in the process but that’s what true change takes. Its takes stepping out of fear, stepping out of complacency and taking little risks. While practicing these strategies I kept the acronym of PERMA in mind. How are these exercised going to increase my positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishments. I knew going in that engagement was something I needed to focus on. It’s one area that I felt could use improvement. I did not expect to end up with a job opportunity because of it. I didn’t expect to find a little piece of independence in the process. I’ve heard mom’s say that they feel like their children become their lives, and as a stay at home mom I could see how that could happen. I love my kids more than life itself, but I also want them to have a strong mother who has an identity all on her own. That is very important to me. I think this semester I have taken risks that I haven’t taken in the past, aside from when I interned during the legislative session. It feels good to do things for myself. It feels to be engaged in my home life, my friendships, and in the recovery community. I’m finding more meaning in the steps I am taking to get to my end goal of a Master’s degree in Social Work, instead of just focusing on getting a 4.0 I’m living life at the same time. The strategies I tried led me to new opportunities. That’s what’s cool about taking action, you never know what doors will be opened for you. I think meditation has been a big part of my ability to hone my thoughts and make decisions in a more comfortable state of mind. People engaged in mindfulness meditation try to cultivate a new relationship with internal experiences by regulating such things as attention, awareness of present experiences, emotions and thoughts through non-judgmental acceptance of those emotions and thoughts without avoiding them or over engaging with them (Baer et al., 2006; Bishop et al., 2004; Kabat-Zinn, 1990; Kumar, 2005). I have felt the difference in having a wandering mind and being able focus in the present, and it a much more peaceful existence staying in the present. Having clarity in thought promotes more positivity, and less distraction from negative self-talk. One study shows that mediation may be helpful for students achieving higher education. Heeren et al. (2009) examined executive functions and meditation using several tests, and they found that the meditators showed more improvement on inhibition and cognitive flexibility measures than non-meditators. These studies provide support for the possibility that meditation enhances performance on some executive function tests. For someone like me that doesn’t use anxiety medication to curb anxiety, mediation can be an effective alternative to prescription medication. At a neurobiological level, meditation has consistently been shown to reduce cortisol and catecholamine level (such as epinephrine and norepinephrine) that may otherwise trigger biologically based anxiety responses. (Chen et al 2012) References: Chu, L. (2010). The benefits of meditation vis-à-vis emotional intelligence, perceived stress and negative mental health. Stress & Health: Journal Of The International Society For The Investigation Of Stress, 26(2), 169-180. Helber, C., Zook, N., & Immergut, M. (2012). Meditation in Higher Education: Does it Enhance Cognition?. Innovative Higher Education, 37(5), 349-358. Chen, K., Berger, C., Manheimer, E., Forde, D., Magidson, J., Dachman, L., & ... Lejuez, C. W. (2012). Meditative therapies for reducing anxiety: a systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Depression & Anxiety (1091-4269), 29(7), 545-562. doi:10.1002/da.21964